How Do We Make It Through This Crazy Time?

Would anyone be surprised if Elvis is still alive and comes out of hiding? Or aliens show up on the nightly news?? I think we are in for many more surprises according to astrology predictions, but man, we have been through some stuff as a collective. Not Just in the United States, but all over the world. How do we stay relatively sane, centered, balanced, and functioning through all this?

I cannot believe in my wildest dreams

When I decided to stay in Mental Health as a therapist I was not able to grasp the events that I would help people adjust to. You know I have to help myself adjust and get through first, right? As a healer, you cannot be falling apart and unhealthy when everyone else is as unwell. Who will be the voice of reason? My first taste of this was 9/11. https://www.history.com/topics/21st-century/9-11-attacks I worked as a Mental Health Crisis worker. We were open 24/7. You could call, come in, or request us to come to you at any time of day or night and we never closed. I told everyone I talked to and saw to TURN OFF THEIR TELEVISIONS. There is only so much we can take in. I also told people to GO OUTSIDE AND DO STUFF. Anything that could pull your mind away from the tragedy we all witnessed and kept witnessing.

And then the conspiracy theories came. And I’m a very curious person. Yes, airplane fuel does burn hot enough to bend and melt steel beams. I checked. The videos and podcasts all seemed to sound at least good enough to look into. Like I said, I’m curious and ask questions and look for answers. I do not trust people and have very good reasons not to. It serves me well in knowing things for myself and not being led to lies.

As I tried to deal with my own anxieties, fears, confusion, worries I was also helping others to deal and cope with this in a healthy way. Add all friends and family too. It was challenging just to get through and we as a collective expereinced this as a trauma. It was an awful feeling of fear, helplessness, and chaos. One I am all too familiar with from my own previous traumas. I guess there is something to be said for having a trauma history in the face of all of this!

Now we have had the pandemic, Black Lives Matters, equal rights for women/Native Americans/LGBTQ/any group that has been oppressed, another horrible election, vaccines and masks, and murder hornets oh my! It just keeps coming. And we have so much to learn about the pandemic still. They are doing research and collection information as quick as they can, but there’s so much we do not have answers for yet. We know that Long COVID is real and can lead to being a disability. https://pandemicpatients.org/long-covid/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_b6WBhAQEiwAp4HyIKQJMZ5A2OWWJ_0O1nJCXVSvWMV9CvrGu73-uwQq_oX-6YPIstA79xoCal0QAvD_BwE We now birth weights and brain masses were down in babies born during the pandemic (https://bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12884-021-04221-6). We know that a lot of us have a new trauma to add to our list. Many have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or some kind of anxiety related to all of this( https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/issue-brief/the-implications-of-covid-19-for-mental-health-and-substance-use/).

We know that there are workers in certain fields such as the medical field, counseling, first responders, law enforcement, etc. that are fatigued and in need of healing. We know people have severed relationships in families, friends, aquatints, consumers withdrew from buying from specific people. We know that everyone is angry, frustrated, tired, scared, and ready for a break. There is no break to be had. We’ve moved straight into inflation, difficulty getting things we need like baby formula and computer chips, and ridiculous gas prices. We see or are a part of radical laws being passed that are shocking, confusing, reactive, and taking us 30-40 years back in evolution.

Coping in a healthy way??

How do you cope with all this? We all cope with things. You may not see it as coping. Eating or not eating, drinking alcohol, smoking/eating edibles, talking to others, spending money, spending time alone or with pets, gambling, cleaning, organizing, watching the news all the time, being involved in many causes, over working, focusing on other people’s problems or problems removed from us…these are all ways we are coping. Some are healthy and some hurt us. How are your relationships with others and your self going? That’s the real measure, right?!

• Are you at odds with everyone you know?
• Do you feel like everyone is crazy and no one gets how important all these things are?
• Are you unhappy with yourself and/or being over critical of others?
• Are you screaming into the abyss and no one is listening?
• Do you talk to people who share your opinions? Do you talk with people who don’t?
• Do you research and search for answers?
• Are you labeling people in 1 group or another (Democrats, Republicans, vax, anti-vaxxers)?
• What kind of news do you watch or listen to? Is it several? Is it the same ones all the time?
• Have you cut off people in your life because of how you see them based on how they voted or their views on these hot topics?

I think we are going to need to dig deep and really look at how we are doing. We need to be really honest with ourselves. I swear this is worse than herding cats. At least with my cats I can open a can of smelly wet food and they all come running. With people we all have so many issues of our own that it’s hard to have 1 thing that brings everyone together. But if we cannot be real and honest with ourselves, we cannot heal and we cannot move forward.

What do I look for?

I look for a lot of things when I am assessing people. One of the things I think about or evaluate is how many irrational thoughts are they using? Here is some more information on irrational thoughts: https://www.verywellmind.com/ten-cognitive-distortions-identified-in-cbt-22412#:~:text=Cognitive%20distortions%20are%20negative%20or,%2C%20depression%2C%20 . In a Cognative Behavioral Therapy (https://www.healthline.com/health/cognitive-behavioral-therapy#effectiveness ) irrational thoughts are thoughts that are not based on facts. The “shoulds/oughts/must,” comparing ourselves to others, expectations, not accepting reality and wanting things to be a certain way, getting stuck in the negative, rejecting the positive, and so on. If these are high in someone’s thoughts that they are verbally expressing, I am thinking they are not doing alright.

Another thing I assess for is how people are able to focus on things other than and outside of themselves. If someone can only think of themselves and have difficulty thinking about others, to me that means they are not well and can only focus on themselves. When we feel better it is easier to have empathy and think of others.

If someone is thinking in black and white and very focused on 1 thing, I know something is not right. Black and white thinking is an irrational thought but we also engage in this kind of thinking when we are fatigued by thinking and TRAUMA. Our brain struggles to think in the grey. We see a lot of this currently, especially in the United States. In talking about issues of shootings, when someone is solely focused on guns, I am concerned they are stuck. Particularly in the school shootings because there are so many other factors: security of the schools, the schools protocol when it happens, the police response and their protocol, the lack of mental health resources, the threats before the incident online that were not followed up on…see what I am saying. The assault rifle is 1 part of the issue and does not solve the entire problem. We need to work on ALL of these or people find other ways to commit horrible acts of violence. Eckart Tolle has a great You Tube video about this recently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VWxGyboFYE

What actually helps??

This seems like a fairly easy question with easy answers, but it is not. But I can try to give some ideas that perhaps you can expand on or creativity adapt. The idea is to cope in a healthy way, right? So we want to look at how we are feeling with what we are currently doing to cope. Are we feeling lighter, more at peace, less frustrated, angry, exhausted, fed up, scared or anxious? Are we having good relationships with ourselves and others?

I am not going to lie, my faith in the Divine/Universe helps me so much! I believe that everything happens for a reason. I may not understand the reason. I make not like the reason at the time and how it effects me, but I am not privy to the plan. the Divine/Universe has the plan and I am 1 small thread in that apestry. Also why it is often hard to see any reason. We are so close and not able to see the bigger picture. It is so much easier to look back on something or a period of time later and see how it makes sense or fit into things. Not usually at the moment. Faith is hardest when things are really bad. I have totally been there. A much older me has an easier time with years, wisdom, and experience.

• Faith in Divine Timing or Planning
• Center yourself in the chaos…I get what I am saying, trust me! Find things that keep you in the moment like playing with children or pets, going in nature, fishing, making crafts, working on building or fixing things, sports (participating in), small gatherings of friends and family, playing games with children/family/friends, working on puzzles, etc.
• Make sure you are breathing during times of difficulty, tensions, hearing/watching/witnessing difficult things. You would be surprised how many times we hold our breathe. We tense our whole body when we do so. Try to slow your breath down as well. Take deep breaths. If focusing on this makes you anxious, please stop. You can hyperventilate, I have done it. lol.
• Learn to meditate…yup, I’m telling you to learn how to. You will not be good at it at first. No one is. They have guided meditations that you just listen and do. I recommend you try these first. Free Apps such as Insight Timer, Happy, and You Tube have guided meditation and some have teaches of how to FOR FREE! Netflix had episodes from Headspace for a while where they would teach you pieces of mediation and at the end of the episode you could practice for a couple of minutes ( https://www.netflix.com/title/81280926). It never has to take long, but getting into a routine helps reduce anxiety ongoing. Here’s a link to an article on FREE mindfulness apps: https://www.mindful.org/free-mindfulness-apps-worthy-of-your-attention/ .
• Eat better!!! Our food dictates how our body feels, works, and reacts. Try to eat healthier and cleaner. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/clean-eating-what-does-that-mean#:~:text=Clean%20foods%20fill%20your%20body,natural%20state%20are%20more%20flavorful.
• TURN OFF or LIMIT the news. We are hit with so much so fast and from all over all the time. Trust me, you will not miss it. I remember during the pandemic we got sucked into watching and listening daily at certain times to catch up with the newest information, rules, regulations, and counts. STOP doing that! It’s not helping you!
• Unplug from the collective. Turn your social media off, the television off, the raido off. Everytime we are connected to the collective we are tapping into it’s neagtivity. What happens when we cannot? Eckart Tolle has a great You Tube video to explain how to in his You Tube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkuZnyLASLo
• Watch talking to others about emotionally triggering topics. Sometimes we think we are venting and really we are working ourselves and others up into a spiral of negativity. Cut it off. Talk about anything else lol. Or just listen to what others are saying without reacting.
• Seek professional help. Mental health therapy is usually coverd by your insurance. If you have a large deducitble or high co-pays you can search for mental health therapists that work on a sliding scale fee or even pro bono (free). The best place I know to referal people to search for a mental health therapsit in their area, for their specific issues, and ability to pay is here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us .
• Work on your issues you know about. If you have past trauma, it will come up again and again. maybe the memories will not, but you will be triggered and you might not realize and we have behaviors and thought patterns we develop from trauma. Tara Brach has developed the RAIN medoth and meditation. It is here: https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/ . It can be of help in working on past traumas.

I found a great article to help conceptualize or reframe our experiences

When I was younger my parents would say, “What do you want? The world is not fair and that’s the way it is.” I absolutely hate that. I have no doubt it came from a place of love and trying to sooth me. i felt dismissed, invalidated, and that it made excuses for what I was upset about to continue without any responsibility or accountability. So I am not communicating that to anyone. But the world is unfair. It’s unfair, unjust, and not a good place sometimes. We go through periods of this and then it gets better or even different. The older and wiser Michelle sees this in a different way than the firey, energetic, younger Michelle. Here’s the article I am referring to: https://medium.com/@oyetoketoby80/this-life-is-unfair-why-should-you-437ffc675b20 .

We also know that we cannot bypass uncomfortable, negative, or difficult feelings. They serve a purpose. Did you see the Pixar movie, Inside Out? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRUAzGQ3nSY Sadness is the hero, not Joy. We need uncomfortable, negative, and difficult feelings. We need to feel them to contrast the positive feelings. Otherwise it feels all the same. That seems boring.

We also need to be triggered emotionally to so we know what still needs healed. Whenever I have a negative emotion, I have been trying to ask myself what needs healed. I will catch myself thinking something critical about someone else. “Why am I being critical? Am I like that to myself? Oh, yeah. so-and-so was like that in my childhood and now I have taken over that negative diaglogue in my head. i do not need to do that and I do not want to do that.”

Reading and listening to astrology predictions helps as well. According to numerous astrologists, we are in Pluto Return for the United States. That means a couple of things. 1. We are digging and searching deep into our foundations to see where the cracks are. What is and what is not working for us. 2. We are going to try to fix some of these cracks in our foundations and with a 2 party system of Democrats verses Republicans we will go back and forth to extremes of both sides until we reach a middle ground (I hope anyhow). Or we will split and/or fight against each other. 3. The Pluto Return takes a period of 10 years. We started 2/22/22. We have a long way to go and not at a resting point yet. 4. The issues we are dealing with, according to astrologists, are: equal rights for everyone, using the power fof consumerism to stop the power of the media to wind us up, power and money (redistribution of both), seeing what’s behind the veil of the scapegoats we have been using, and homelessness. That’s a big list! I’m not going to let myself get burnt out now. We have so far to go. This is a marathon. We need to pace ourselves, take breaks, heal, and get ready to be able to make good decisions based on healthy minds and thinking.

What about my vote, my voice, and my ability to change?

I do not want to EVER squash or stifle anyone’s voice, advocacy, and ability to make change happen. Please continue to vote, speak out, protest, do whatever you feel you need to do. In this article I am hoping that you find a way to disengage. We all need to rest, recoup, reassess at times. You cannot stay tuned in all the time. The collective is very negative and there has been some talk about the collective energy being so negative that it has caused a negativity entity separate from them. That is pretty bad and can be draining and consuming, especially for empaths.

There is also something to be said for staying in your lane. I mean putting your energy where your energy does the best good. I’m a healer. I know I need to be good and healthy to help others. I cannot and do not want to be engaged in daily news and updates. They hurt me. They make me sick, drain me and wear me out. I take a lot of time by myself. I spend time with people who nourish my soul and make me feel good. I’m not a legislator or civil justice lawyer or protestor. It takes too much from me and I need to be able to heal. I do not spend a lot of time at public events or with large crowds of people. There are times when I choose to, but overall I live a pretty quiet and simple life. I need that to do my healing with others. I am staying in my lane where I can make the most change and where I am most effective. I want the same for you 🙂

I believe in the Butterfly Affect

I believe that in healing myself and working on my unhealed wounds, I will have better and more healthier experiences with others. I am a better healer too. The people I have healthier and healed experiences will have more healthier and more healed interactions from that. Healing the world by healing myself first! Here’s Webster’s defination of The Butterfly Effect: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/butterfly%20effect . We want to change the world to be healthier, supportive, fair, and loving. We have to be that first. We cannot make change from a place of unhealed or unhealthiness. Plus there is so much I cannot change just with myself. I would certainly burn out even though I am a big ball of fire and earth signs lol.

Please take good care of yourselves in this very difficult and chaotic time. Hang in there and please remember your faith, your stregnth and your beauty. Love and light my friends 🙂